People can meet other people on their own or the get-together can be arranged by someone else. Matchmaking is an art based entirely on hunches, since it is impossible to predict with certainty whether two people will like each other or not. "All you should ever try and do is make two people be in the same room at the same time," advised matchmaker Sarah Beeny in 2009, and the only rule is to make sure the people involved want to be set up. One matchmaker advised it was good to match "brains as well as beauty" and try to find people with similar religious and political viewpoints and thinks that like-minded people result in more matches, although acknowledging that opposites sometimes attract. It is easier to put several people together at the same time, so there are other candidates possible if one doesn't work out. And, after introducing people, don't meddle.
The men that I speak with (and who commented on my last post) lament about being in a "no win situation" in modern dating. If they follow what society tells them to do, they often end up "good guys" who are taken advantage of, mistreated, and disrespected. In contrast, if they follow more "assertive" biological imperatives, they are labeled "jerks" and "players"—who may get sexual gratification, but not love or respect from what they would consider a "good woman". Overall, they report that there is often little incentive for men to date and even less for them to consider long-term commitments.
“I’m introverted and a bit anxious when I spend time with a woman that I’m romantically interested in. At (what I feel to be) the appropriate times, I think of what I want to try (like when and where would be an appropriate and memorable first kiss), but worry about whether or not she will think I tried going too far too soon. That’s why I really like it when a woman makes the first moves. Like reaching out to hold my hand, leaning in for a kiss, wrapping her arms around me when she wants to cuddle, or anything really to let me know she’s interested. Knowing that you want me turns me on.”
3. European men aren’t into labelling. Unlike American culture, where there’s almost a rite of passage which takes two people from “hooking up” to “seeing each other” to “dating” to “exclusive”, these labels just aren’t a focus or concern for European men. They don’t over analyze the situation. Rather, the mentality is, “I like you, I want to see you, and if it’s enjoyable, let’s keep seeing each other”. It’s more organic and instead of defining the relationship in order to know how to act, they let the relationship unfold and the label of boyfriend/girlfriend just naturally develops in the process.